Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
