So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
