so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
