I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
