would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
