drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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