Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
even my farts smell like vagina
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
