Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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