you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
