why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
