I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
