He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
