Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
