No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
