just tell him i said nine months
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
