I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
