they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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