i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
