life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize