so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a āfireplaceā station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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