I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
