Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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