i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
