Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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