I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
