We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
