what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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