I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
