he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize