What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
