so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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