I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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