To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
