he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
