Me. At least after what I've been through.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
