why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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