We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
