Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
