it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
