he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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