Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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