is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
