we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
