it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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