think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
