I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
