Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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