i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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