Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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