dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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